Summary
| Created | July 4th 2023 |
|---|---|
| Description | First Early Access test character, first solo run of the final game. |
| Name | Vesper (Cullagh) |
|---|---|
| Classes & Level | lvl 18 Circle of the Moon Druid, lvl2 Cleric of Selûne post-game |
| (lvl 10 Druid/lvl 2 Cleric in-game) [Nature Domain Cleric] | |
| Nicknames | Ves, Violet, Moonlight, Moonie, Darling, My Sweet, Cub |
| Background | Sage |
| Age & Race | 77 at the beginning of the game in 1492 DR (Born in 1415 DR, the 4th Flamerule/Summertide), Cancer Zodiac |
| Half-High Elf | |
| She/Her | |
| Alignment | Chaotic Good |
| Symbolism | • Vesper means “Evening star”, Orion means “Rising in the sky/Morning star”, as she was born a minute before midnight, and he a minute after. |
| • Her palette is mostly pink, purple and blue & black and white, with silver details. | |
| • Moon cycles, stars and constellation cover her skin and most of her outfits. | |
| Dream Guardian | Orion’s appearance (her twin brother) |
| Height | 1m77 |
| 5'7” | |
| Deity | Séluné & Silvanus |
| Ship Names | • Vesperion: Astarion & Vesper |
| • Saxan: Saoirse & Xan | |
| • Shadorion: Shadowheart & Orion | |
| Body Type | Round,a bit muscular but overall soft. |
| Scars & Marks | • No visible scar, always healed before it makes a permanent scar on her skin. |
| • Her entire body is covered in brown freckles that shines like constellations at night time, and her hair too. | |
| • Moon cycle on her left upper arm. | |
| • Stars on the cheeks. | |
| • Moon cycle tattoo on her right hand. |
All of her marks are slighly shining, like distant stars in the night sky. | | Family | • Grandparents: Cheney and Achlys — Druids of the stars, they met after Cheney made a ritual that invoked Achlys from the Feywilds. She had to leave years later to protect her family from the monsters who were hunting her all this time back in her homelands. Whether she’s still alive or not is uncertain. Cheney died in the war opposing Ketheric and the Harpers a century ago. **• Parents: Merle & Aurora — Halsin found Merle in the rubbles after the war in the Shadow-cursed Lands and brought him back to the grove with him. He grew up without druid abilities, but very close to nature and animals, as a Beastmaster Ranger. Aurora, Cheney & Achlys’ daughter, loved to explore the world and often left the grove, giving it’s leadership to Halsin. She became an Harper to help people around Faêrun, as she hated to hide away in the Emerald Grove. Merle and her became close after doing some scout missions, and eventually she fell pregnant. They were scared of how people would see their union, as their kid would be marginalized as neither Human, nor Elven, just something in between, never fully belonging. • Sibling: Orion — Born as two identical female twins, Vesper and Orion grew up together. Orion came out as trans-masc at a very young age, but people in the Grove helped him in his transition as much as they could, always accepting and loving him. All the worries Merle & Aurora had was unfounded, as the Grove was very welcoming and loved the twins energy, bringing a new breath of fresh air to the Grove. • Lovers: Elwyn (Past), multiple people around Baldur’s Gate and Waterdeep (Past) and Astarion (Current) — Her first lover was a human called Elwyn in the Emerald Grove, but it didn’t last long as they had too many differences. It’s also when Vesper found out she was asexual. She then started a few reletionships with writers, clerics, merchants all around the cities she visited, but it sadly never lasted long. The only long relationship she ever had was with Astarion. They never got married, but it’s as if it was the case. • Child: Saoirse — Dhampir little baby called after the freedom Vesper & Astarion cherish over everything. A little kid full of life and hunger, who became a little menace to monsters as a Monster Slayer Ranger. | | Summary | Vesper and her twin brother Orion were born in the Emerald Grove, living with their parents Merle — a human ranger, and Aurora — an high elf druid.
She learnt how to use staves and glaives with her mother, and archery with her father. While Orion studied scimitars and shield combat, dreaming to adventuring himself in the dangerous Underdark for his mycology studies as a druid of the spores. Born in a Selûnite family, they were sent on their own to fulfill the ritual on a full moon. The woods were so dark, cold and scary… she couldn’t help but wild shape for the first time, as a survival mechanism. Orion ran into her, in her owlbear form, but she didn’t recognized him yet, scarring his face by accident.
Since his transition🏳️⚧️, the two twins got even closer. Their multiple differences made them grow. They never left each other’s side for too long, with Vesper visiting him in the Underdark often, and then in Baldur’s Gate when he moved in with his drow husband. Years passed, and Vesper spent most of them studying books, exploring nature in wild shape, practising her parents arts… all in a quite lonely existence. Beside her family — and well, the druid grove, which was like family anyway, she didn’t had many friends. Her chaotic demeanour and rudeness due to her inability of understanding social cues didn’t help bond ties with strangers. When her human father died of elderness, that sentiment of solitude only grew stronger, but instead of reaching out, she shut herself off even more.
Until the day her brother stopped answering her letters, and she knew something was wrong. She immediately left for Baldur’s Gate, and only found his house empty, long dried blood stains on the floor. She tried to find Orion or his husband Tuìn for days, in vain. That’s when the illithid nautiloid appeared and kidnapped citizens, Vesper being one of them. When they crashed near her homeland, she was terrified. Mindflayer tadpoles, her brother missing, the Grove in danger, Halsin disappeared, her mother possibly abducted as well… This was too much. She knew she couldn’t deal with this on her own, and bonded with the other infected people, like her.
Their shared goals and mutual connection help them build a sturdy relationship of respect and trust, some more genuine than others. She finally felt comfortable being herself with them, letting her chaos shine, her questioning values rings and her blade slash when it was required. They were not always agreeing with her actions, but they remained supportive of most, and that was enough.
Vesper started feeling things for Astarion the more he opened up to her, and she opened up to him. Outside of a handful of people, she never shared so much with someone. The anxiety of this situation might have tipped the scales in his favour, as she was willing to do things she normally wouldn’t, for the sake of comfort. She was using him, and he was using her. After their first night together, she felt that he was holding back something and not being entirely honest. That his smiles were nothing but a façade he built over the years to protect himself. And from this moment on, she promised herself to make him smile one day. Not because he felt forced, but a sincere smile of joy.
Upon reuniting with Halsin, who’s always been more than a leader to her — a grandfather, somehow, as he took care of Merle since he was a child; they wandered in the Shadowcursed Lands. Praying Selûne to guide her, she reached Last Light Inn and met Isobel, a well-known cleric she’s read about in many books before. Halsin told her about the war that occured in these lands a century ago, when he found her father. About Isobel’s death, too. But Vesper also read about Ketheric Thorm, the Selûnite who turned his back to the Lady of Silver for Shar. This land was cursed with shadows and sorrow as thick as Gale’s gooey soups, and she would help the Moonmaiden light pass through the darkness again.
Afer reaching Baldur’s Gate and helping Astarion fullfil his revenge with Cazador, she took her own with Orin, when she discovered the Bhaal Chosen herself was behind Tuìn’s murder. Shadowheart, finally arriving the Shar Temple she wanted, got not-so-surprising revelations: she was a Selûnite, like her. Vesper suspected it since the moment Shadowheart shared some memories with her. But more surprisingly, over meeting Viconia DeVir, she saw Orion, dressed in a black sharran ceremonial outfit. The loss of his husband got the best of him, and he preffered to forget, give in to Mistress of the Night. She couldn’t lose her new-found sister and twin brother to Shar’s fate, now. Vesper delivered them and their memories. Just like she delivered thousands of souls from the Absolute’s power, her own too.
While Astarion was still a vampire spawn avoiding the sun, they continued to move on with their recently recovered freedom. But her mother was still missing, and the four of them — Vesper, Astarion Ancunìn, Jenevelle Santos Hallowleaf & Orion; went to look for her. Khaga was apparently involved in her disappearance, as Aurora was supposed to take leadership of the Grove if somethingwere to happen to Halsin. They looked for Shadow Druids hideouts, sent other druids to her research too. And after perillous journeys across Faerûn, they finally brought her back, alive.
Decades of adventures awaited Astarion and Vesper, throughout the Forgotten Realms and the different planes of existence. They even reached out to Karlach & Wyll in Avernus for a while. The two of them also attented as “teachers” for a week seminar at Gale’s school to share their adventures, and Vesper’s latest research about plants and potion making.
Vesper eventually reached the point where she could have Timeless Body, making her close to immortal, to Astarion’s greatest relief. But after more than a century together, another “normally impossible” thing occured. Vesper fell pregnant of a dhampir daugther they called Saoirse: Freedom. And suddenly the thought of living a “normal” life wasn’t just a foreign dream. They were scared for their child, as most books about dhampir depicts way to recognize and kill them, but never how to raise one. Doing their best while remaining their chaotic selves, they make sure she would never feel lonely, unloved or miss anything — at all cost. They also helped her understand her dhampir hunger and ways to manage it. Ways to become stronger and use it as an ability, and not an affliction.
Years later, Saoirse became a ranger, like her grandfather, and choose to adventure like her parents. People might think vampires and dhampirs are monsters, but she was a good one. Willing to fight other monsters for the well being of others, she became a monster slayer and a bounty hunter, hunting all sorts of creatures with her shapr senses, feeding her hunger on them to avoid killing good people.
Saoirse also eventually met Xan, as Lae’zel and Vesper stayed in contact through the planes. Xan visited Faerûn often to learn more from its people, before going back to the Astral Plane to help his mother in their fight against the Lich Queen, Vlaakith. The two of them became an item, first flirting to tease him as he acted very calmly and seriously at all times, but finally falling in love when he showed her his most vulnerable sides. |
Saoirse's Lullaby by Somni.mp4
[Saoirse’s Lullaby composed by Somni! (+ this wonderul PicMix of Vesper lmao)](https://prod-files-secure.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/f77d01cc-6911-4b92-9061-43f85f5570ca/621c2b11-4962-4cfa-ae7b-82a2c8aea85d/Saoirses_Lullaby_by_Somni.mp3)
Saoirse’s Lullaby composed by Somni! (+ this wonderul PicMix of Vesper lmao)
[Vesper’s Theme composed by **Somni** as well!](https://prod-files-secure.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/f77d01cc-6911-4b92-9061-43f85f5570ca/57cd72aa-3c20-4ed6-a49a-177939a17dd7/Vespers_Theme_by_Somni.mp3)
Vesper’s Theme composed by **Somni** as well!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/78TJwF66Fs7UrWMvqATntI?si=0b9f3596ee914227
<aside> <img src="/icons/timeline_purple.svg" alt="/icons/timeline_purple.svg" width="40px" /> CHRONOLOGY
</aside>
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7IdBc13saFAX2Pl1RDUB4W?si=5b137a902b104a5a
| TRACK NAME | ARTIST(S) | STORY |
|---|---|---|
| The Wolven Storm | The Hound + The Fox | This song is based on Geralt of Rivia and Yennefer of Vengerberg from the Witcher 3. They share a lot of similarities in how I imagine Vesper & Astarion’s relationship, and even in appearance. |
| The Pale Elf | Jonathan Young | Jonathan Young literally wrote this song as a bardcore theme for Astarion, it has to be on this playlist. |
| Whatever Comes Our Way | Miracle of Sound | “I will share your pain, your laughter and your sorrow […] For a burden that is shared Is much easier to bear.” |
| Vesper is rather selfless and desperate, especially in Act 1. | ||
| Eat Your Young | Hozier | “I'm starving, darling. Let me put my lips to something. Let me wrap my teeth around the world.” |
| Astarion enjoying his newfound freedom in this world where he can wander under the sunlight and enter houses unannounced. |
| TRACK NAME | ARTIST(S) | STORY |
|---|---|---|
| Deal You Can’t Refuse | Magic: The Gathering, Cristina Vee, Em Young | “You'll need protection up there, don't walk the streets alone. You can't deny that you're scared, you know you're on your own You'll need some of peace mind that I can help you find. You only just need to sign, upon the dotted line. Make you a deal you can't refuse, alone or safe with us, I'll let you choose. Make you a deal you can't refuse so tell me what you've got to lose.” |
| Astarion made the deal with Cazador because he was scared of the Gur and thought he has no other option to escape them. | ||
| Monster | Fight The Fade | “People say I've been changing, I don't act the same. My minds rearranging, I don't feel a thing. I'm not the kid that I used to be, I've grown into a man. They just don't know the other half of me, what I really am. When I look at myself in the mirror, I can see clearer: I'm nothing but a monster. You can see it in my eyes. It's crawling under my skin and I don't think I can hide what I am anymore.” |
| He’s not himself anymore, he can’t see his reflection. | ||
| Poison - Hazbin Hotel Original Soundtrack | Blake Roman, Sam Haft, Andrew Underberg | “Another lover underneath those flashing lights, another one of those ruthless nights |
| I shoulda guessed that this would happen, I shoulda known it when I looked in your red-hot eyes, spewing all your red-hot lies | ||
| What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself because I know you're poison, you're feeding me poison | ||
| Addicted to this feelin', I can't help but swallow up your poison. I made my choice, and every night, I'm livin' like there's no tomorrow. | ||
| […] My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison. I got so good at bein' untrue. I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear. I disassociate, disappear. | ||
| […]I'm fillin' up my glass, but it's always hollow. Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison. Wish I had somethin' to live for tomorrow.” | ||
| Astarion making the pact with Cazador to escape the Gurs, cursing himself for choosing this over death. Fighting day by day, slowly losing himself behind the mask her wears to seduce his master’s preys. | ||
| Broken Crown | Mumford & Sons | The pull on my flesh was just too strong. It stifled the choice and the air in my lungs. Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie beause when I open my body, I breathe a lie. I will not speak of your sin. There was a way out for him. The mirror shows not, your values are all shot but oh, my heart was flawed. I knew my weakness, so hold my hand. Consign me not to darkness |
| So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down. I'll never wear your broken crown. I took the road and I fucked it all the way. Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace.” | ||
| After his deal with Cazador to survive the Gur, he quickly realized this fate was worse than death. | ||
| With the years, putting on a fake mask became his refuge. Finding preys for his master was just another night, until people like Sébastian appeared. To forget what he was doing to them, he forgot himself, putting on the mask once more. | ||
| Become The Beast | Karliene | “I've always been a hunter. Nothing on my tail, but there was something in you I knew could make that change. To capture a predator, you can't remain the prey. You have to become an equal in every way. So look in the mirror and tell me, who do you see? Is it still you? Or is it me? Become the beast, we don't have to hide. Do I terrify you or do you feel alive? Do you feel the hunger. Does it howl inside? Does it terrify you? Or do you feel alive? Splinters of my soul, cut through your skin and burrow within. […] So embrace the darkness and I will help you see that you can be limitless and fearless if you follow me. We are the lions in a world of lambs. We are the predators, the hunters.” |
| The cycle of abuse of Astarion, the one he got from Cazador, who got it from his own master, Vellioth the Martinet. | ||
| Already Dead | WE ARE FURY, TELLE | “I'm bleeding out of time and judged for crimes I don't commit. I'm losing all my senses as I drift away. I never felt so calm. I ask for peace as I go numb. Is this the last time I spill blood? 'Cause this pressure around neck, it's like a guillotine. Pretend that I'm okay, it's fucking killing me. Like a bird with a broken wing, its feathers caught in the wind, I keep fallin' and fallin'” |
| Dead magistrate, as Cazador turns him into a vampire. | ||
| Human | Daughter | “Woken up like an animal, teeth ready for sinking, my mind's lost in bleak vision. […] Underneath the skin there's a human. Buried deep within there's a human. And despite everything I'm still human.” |
| Astarion when he was turned, still hopeful. | ||
| Let Me Love | ARCHIS | “I became what I'm not and it's all that they wanted. The quiet in the room turned me cold. Love is all that I have so, let me love who I want. All the dreams that I'm chasing, break my heart then replace it. […] But love is all that I have now. I gave my blood just to find out your tired heart that I buried. Won't you ever forgive me?” |
| Astarion when he meets Sebastian, but knows (or think he knows) what Cazador reserves for him. | ||
| Animal I Have become | Three Days Grace | “I can't escape this hell, so many times I've tried. But I'm still caged inside. Somebody get me through this nightmare, I can't control myself. So what if you can see the darkest side of me? |
| No one would ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it's not the real me. Somebody help me tame this animal. I can't escape myself, so many times I've lied.” | ||
| Astarion when he was turned, still trying to escape this nightmare of existence Cazador put him through. Trying to extinguish his thirst for blood. Lying to others but mainly himself. | ||
| Melancholy Angel | Visions of Atlantis | “Hopeless, I'm drowning. Helpless, I'm trying. Desperate to find the reason I can believe. […] I see in the mirror the void I've become. The joys and the horrors keep turning me numb. A taste of despair.” |
| The despair and sorrow from his new condition. Not only as a vampire spawn, but a pawn, a puppet forced to obey. | ||
| So Called Life | Three Days Grace | “Can't laugh, can't cry, can't live, can't die, can't do anything anymore, no. Can't love, can't breathe, can't talk, can't sleep but I can't seem to stay awake anymore. |
| What a time to be alive, such a waste of fuckin' time. Give me something to take the edge off, something to kick the night off, something to keep my mind off this so called life” | ||
| Astarion’s first decade under Cazador’s tyranny, when he was still trying to run away or disobey. | ||
| Which Witch | Florence + The Machine | “And it's my whole heart, weighed and measured inside. And it's an old scar trying to bleach it out. And it's my whole heart deemed and delivered a crime. I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out. […] I've had enough, it's obvious and I'm getting tired of crawling all the way.” |
| The last link between his life as a magistrate and his life as a spawn, as time seem to be a hazy blur of his ruthless nights. | ||
| Plenty | aeseaes | “In the land of plenty, we don't know what the word no means.” |
| He had no choice. All the things Cazador told him to do, he couldn’t say “no”. | ||
| Hate Me | Eurielle | “He says save me, save me. She says maybe, maybe. She starts to turn away when he says. Hate me, break me., let me feel as hurt as you. Push me, crush me, but promise me you'll never let us go.” |
| Astarion whenever a “Sebastian” arrived in his life. He knew he couldn’t save them, but he could make them run away. He would be punished for it, but at least they would be free. | ||
| that’s pathetic, you little heretic! | bug bites | “If hell is real then heaven is empty. I don’t make the rules. Mister stardust calls me his pawn. I can’t make the rules. After dreaming of heresy, I woke up on my knees, I called my carpet burns a side-effect of mercy. I bit the hand that dare reach down to feed a rabid beast and he just called it stigmata, said it’s something I oughta be grateful for. Oh, if heaven is real then hell is one foot out the door.” |
| Stuck in his daily loop of struggle. | ||
| Paleblood Moon | Miracle of Sound | Teeth tear and rend, meat maim and end. Cruel and brutal the blades of the beast, carve and clatter and cleave. Bathed in blood of the damned, diseased, through the withered we weave. |
| Paleblood will guide your way, embrace the changes and be consumed. Bleak bells that chime dismay, echo the cries of the paleblood moon. A place consumed, a paleblood moonrise. The cogs creak a melody, sing a lullaby for the doomed. The ones who would never be will find a vessel in the paleblood moon.” | ||
| The seven spawns hunting their preys for their master. | ||
| First Light | Hozier | “The sun coming up like I lived my whole life before the first light.” |
| Living at night, sleeping during daytime… | ||
| Run | Coyote Kid | Astarion becoming concious on his new needs as a vampire spawn and how he’ll be treated by everyone from now on. |
| I Did Something Bad | Taylor Swift | “They love me, so I play 'em like a violin and I make it look oh so easy. Because for every lie I tell them, they tell me three.” |
| Astarion’s last two centuries | ||
| Bury Me Low | 8 Graves | “If I meet God, I'mma make him explain where was his help when I wanted to change. Is everything crazy, or just in my brain?” |
| Astarion tried to pray every god and none would respond… QWQ | ||
| Electrolysis | Penny Parker | “Flame alights upon my face. A spark ignites, again I brace for every surge of agony. Another hurt is leaving me across the gap is closure and if I can hold composure, I'll be free. I'll be forever set free, I long to be set free from the routine.” |
| Astarion waking up after the crash of the Nautiloid, realizing he could feel the sun, warm, but not burning. He was free. | ||
| Regardez-moi | Molière l’opéra urbain, Abi Bernadoth | A french song about the Prince of Conti in Molière’s story. Here’s a translation of the lyrics that reminds me of Astarion: |
| ”It’s true, I have problems, dozens of flaws. I don’t have your morals. I’m like life, unfair and unkind. I know it’s not pretty, but I ain’t either. I don’t hate if they hate me, no one hates myself more than I do. I failed everywhere and I know it, but what remains is what you cannot see. Look at me, don’t look away. Indifference kills more than a glance or a weapon. Look at me, undress me. Naked, my soul longs for the light. I’m your bad side, everything you try to hide. I lost my compassion but I wasn’t born this way. Everything I do is ugly, but the world is uglier than I.” | ||
| [“C'est vrai qu'j'ai des problèmes, des défauts par centaine. Je n'ai pas le sens de vos valeurs humaines. Moi je suis comme la vie, j'fais jamais de cadeau. Je sais qu'c'est pas joli, mais moi non plus j'suis pas beau. J'm'en fout si l'on me déteste. Personne jamais ne m'aimera moins que moi, non. J'ai tout raté je l'atteste, mais il me reste ce que vous n'voyez pas. Regardez moi, ne vous détournez pas. L'indifférence a le regard qui tue à l'arme et la manière. Regardez moi, oui mais déshabillez moi. Dévêtue, mon âme s'évertue à retrouver la lumière. J'suis votre mauvais côté, tout c'que vous n'osez pas. J'ai perdu ma bonté, mais j'suis pas né comme ça. Tout c'que j'fais c'est moche, mais l'monde est plus laid que moi.”] |
| TRACK NAME | ARTIST(S) | STORY |
|---|---|---|
| Some Say | Rascal Flatts | “Some say we'll never make it out of town. That someday we'll end up a world apart, and some say we're a couple crazy kids, and some say that's exactly what they did, and I say you got to go with your heart, and baby, look where we are.” |
| Vesper & Orion dreaming about the rest of the world outside of the Grove. Not expecting they would soon travel around the Underdark and live in a city like Baldur’s Gate. | ||
| Believe | Tales of the Forgotten | “What do you see? I think it's what I need. I'm tired of running in circles, carrying burdens, syncopating curses, I wanna be free. |
| Take me to your only garden, I wanna see the world you found, just sit me underneath the trees, I wanna see what you believe” | ||
| Embracing their new world. | ||
| The Voice | Celtic Woman | “I hear your voice on the wind and I here you call out my name: "Listen my child, " you say to me "I am the voice of your history. “Be not afraid, come follow me, answer my call and I'll set you free."” |
| The first and only time Vesper heard Sélûné and starting truly believing in her. | ||
| The Horror and the Wild | The Amazing Devil | “You were raised by wolves and voices. Every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed. They said it all comes down to you. You're the daughter of silent watching stones. You watch the stars hurl all their fundaments in wonderment, at you and yours, forever asking more.” |
| Young Vesper and her parents, Merle & Aurora, when she decided to become a Cleric of Selûne. | ||
| Scars | Rivals, Diandra Faye | “In this moment I’m freefalling from the high. Heart’s unspoken, still cry. In the open, every reason that I hide. Leaves me broken, still I fight this regret in my head for an end. […] |
| In this moment I can’t be who you desire. Heart’s unspoken, still try. In the open, I can’t breathe insidе you fire. You got me choking, still I gotta get out of my feelings from your broken parts. I’m letting go now of the healing, you can keep the scars.” | ||
| Vesper with her past lovers, (Elwyn and others) when the moment to drop her mask ruined the relationships she built. | ||
| Under A Violet Moon | Blackmore’s Night | “Raise your hats and your glasses too, we will dance the whole night through. We're going back to a time we knew under a Violet Moon." |
| Vesper, celebrating Selûne with other clerics. | ||
| Selene | Karliene | “Silver are her arms reaching from her gown of stars. Gentle is her light, may she always be my solace in the night. Selene, riding winged steeds. Selene, pull me to dreams. Guiding, with her gleam, painting roads where shadows weave. Turning ocean tides, may she always soothe the tempest in my mind. Selene, riding winged steeds.” |
| Nightstalk ceremony praying Selûne back in Waterdeep. | ||
| The Moon Will Sing | The Crane Wives | “The moon will sing a song for me, I loved you like the sun. Bore the shadows that you made with no light of my own. I shine only with the light you gave me.” |
| Vesper, when her father Merle passed away. | ||
| Saturn | Sleeping At Last, Marianne Beaulieu | “You taught me the courage of stars before you left. How light carries on endlessly, even after death with shortness of breath, you explained the infinite and how rare and beautiful it is to even exist. I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again. I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen. I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time that the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes.” |
| Vesper’s last moment with her father, Merle, on his dying bed. | ||
| Mother | Beícoli | “The days have turned to nights. I see who cast it right before my eyes. A roar inside a heart, a melody pulled from the dark night. |
| Mother sing to me a lullaby you used to sing for the Moon.” | ||
| The day Aurora came back to the Grove after years away on her Harper’s duties, only to learn about Merle’s death and barely show any emotion. Vesper felt like a lost kid, fighting her grief with older, happier memories. Of a time when the four of them were still together under Sélûné’s embrace. | ||
| Lullaby | Chxrlotte | “There's comfort in darkness, embrace it but right now you don't have to face it. Safe from reality, go to sleep |
| Sometimes I wish I could just fold. Give up and not have to grow old. […] None of your worries exist in space.” | ||
| Orion singing this to Vesper when their father passed away. | ||
| Pray | The Amazing Devil | “Why womanhood is more than crying. I'm stronger now than you have ever known. The cracks you made, I filled with mortar. A broken pot can still hold water.” |
| Fighting her loss and fears. Praying Selûne. Embracing the chaos of nature. AKA Vesper’s five stages of grief. | ||
| notre dame | Paris Paloma | Her feelings when she reached Baldur’s Gate after receiving a letter from Orion, stating his husband Tuìn was murdered. Her twin wasn’t in his house, nor in the Selûne temple, or anywhere he usually goes. She has no idea where he could be, or what to do now. She’s just there, in the city barricades, looking down on the everyday life of passerbys. |
| Two Birds | Regina Spektor | “Two birds on a wire. One tries to fly away and the other.” |
| Orion & Vesper have been together they entire life, leaving, coming back, disappearing and reappearing. | ||
| O | Coldplay | “A flock of birds, hovering above. Just a flock of birds, that's how you think of love and I always look up to the sky. Pray before the dawn because they fly away |
| Sometimes they arrive, sometimes they are gone. They fly on.” | ||
| Love and family bonds. | ||
| Creatures | She Won’t Live | “My mother said: You don't know sacrifice, do you?.” |
| Aurora was often absent, sacrificing her family life for the good of others as a Harper. | ||
| ”My father said: Just turn off all the lights and look. | ||
| Her father, Merle, was a free spirit, always lost in the woods, looking at the stars. | ||
| ”My brother said: You wanna stay inside, don't you? Come out and play, we're paving our own way.” | ||
| Orion always love to wander around the Emerald Grove, while Vesper could stay days without looking at the sun once, reading books and studying. | ||
| ”[…] But I fear creatures that lurk in the dark are not the ones leaving marks. Missing younger days, when i was afraid of creatures that lurk in the dark.” | ||
| Now Vesper is alone, they’re not around anymore. And she realizes all her past fears are nothing compared to what she’s afraid of now. |
| TRACK NAME | ARTIST(S) | STORY |
|---|---|---|
| Parasite | Ksenia Lewis | “1, 2, 3 o'clock, dreading light of morning. Warm sunrise, vampirical burning. Body's cold and thoughts disturbing. Tortured soul, this poison's burning. 4, 5, 6 o'clock, sun upon the window. Heart is full of hate for the light that casts a shadow. Magnifies my deepest sorrow. Alibi for the parasitic ego. It's latched on tight. This host is taken for a ride |
| This entire song makes me think of Astarion’s POV getting out of his pod when the nautiloid crashed. | ||
| Out of the Shadows | Ely Eira | “Fire in our eyes. Dawn of a new day. Sun breaks through the dark. Come out of the shadows. […]” |
| Again, Astarion getting out of the shadows he was emprisoned for centuries. | ||
| Who Are You | Borislav Slavov | Starting point of the Game Story. |
| Midnight Dove | Shawn James | Midnight Dove, why do you wander on through clouded skies? There must be a glimpse of hope in sight. Spread your wings and take to flight. Leave the past behind. The dawn will birth a brand new light. So fly on and never look back from where you came. The sky opens up and it's calling out your name, because all you got is all that you need. |
| I found myself amongst the thorns and weeds. You found yourself amongst the beautiful trees. And we're not the same, deep down inside of every part of me my heart's been aching for the fear of the stretch of my wings. Now with every move I make and every breath I take, my mind's been worrying about what's at stake, but I just gotta let them go with the wind.” | ||
| Astarion opening his eyes, stuck in his pod. Scared about the light of the sun dangerously approaching, he hits his surrounding, uses his daggers as a lever to try to open this cage. But when he’s finally out, he realizes the sun is warm. Comforting. He can freely walk under daylit. | ||
| Rule #21 - Memento Mori | Fish in a Birdcage | “My suit stayed the same. Can't remember my own name. Inside a timeless cage. I never wanted to sleep.” |
| After two centuries stuck in the same hell, Astarion wants to enjoy every second of his newfound freedom. | ||
| ”Like a muzzled hound. I'm tied and bound. A wild beast crying for release. I want my mouth so I may howl and share with silence of the trees. I never wanted to sleep.” | ||
| Vesper has never felt more insecure and lost in her life, making it hard to even find sleep. | ||
| True Faith | Ashley Johnson, Chris Rondinella | “I used to think that the day would never come, I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun. My morning sun is the drug that brings me near to the childhood I lost, replaced by fear.” |
| Astarion redescovering the sun warmth on his skin after two centuries. | ||
| Lost Again | Kings Elliot | “Now all of my nightmares are comin' true and I've seen beyond the darkest side of the moon. I've walked in the shadows, but how do I run from monsters in the mirror that I'm afraid that I've become?” |
| Vesper’s fears, nightmares of ceremorphosis. | ||
| Not the Ghost | The Crane Wives | “If only I could break the chain of disappointments weighing me down. Shake off the ghosts that whisper warnings whenever you're not around. I won't be afraid of all the things I've wanted. It's the fear, and not the ghost, that leaves me haunted. See what a life you lead: You're an anchor for all the heaviest regrets inside of you. Escape; we collect mistakes. I will carry them home.” |
| Vesper’s thoughts in act 1, when she thinks her mother is missing and her brother is probably gone as well, fueled with regrets and disappointments toward herself. Realizing the worst part of it all is the fear, the fear of losing what remains. | ||
| Game of Survival | Ruelle | “Who's in the shadows? Who's ready to play? Are we the hunters or are we the prey? |
| There's no surrender and there's no escape. […] This is a wild game of survival.” | ||
| Astarion (inner) fighting for his freedom, thinking there’s no escape for a prey while acting like a hunter. | ||
| No Tomorrow | Three Days Grace | “Don't wanna waste my time thinkin' 'bout what's missin', the past is gone and the future's fiction. No use in tripping over not existin'. You can take your time but time's tickin'. |
| The cure for the sorrow is to live like there's no tomorrow.” | ||
| Astarion embracing his life with the tadpole, enjoying each second of his newfound freedom as if there was no tomorrow. | ||
| Freak Like Me | Halestorm | “I’m on the train that’s pullin' the sick and twisted, makin' the most of the ride before we get arrested. We’re all wasted and we’re not going home tonight. Covered in black we lack the social graces. Just like an animal we crawl out of our cages. They can’t tame us. […] This is no disease you don’t need a cure! It’s our time now to come out! If you’re a freak like me!” |
| Legit how I imagine the chaotic gang (Vesper & companions) to go on adventures lmao | ||
| Creepin’ | Hayley Williams | “Why you creepin' 'round? Strange you're not a threat to me. I admire your dedication. Poor little vampire. Don't you know? I'm a moon in daylight.” |
| Vesper noticing Astarion the night he tried to bite her. Little did he know she had troubles to sleep. | ||
| Eat You | Caravan of Thieves | “I go hungry every night. But not this time around. I'm gonna eat you, you're my desire.” |
| Astarion finally letting his blood thirst wild. | ||
| The Red Means I love You | Madds Buckley | “Unusual. They say strange fascination, infatuation. A lunatic. Call me what suits your taste, I just wanna taste.” |
| ”I only need a taste, I swear.” — Astarion | ||
| Still Alive (Mirror’s Edge) | Psycho Crusher , Michiru | “You’ve changed, I have changed, just like you. […] But I’m still alive. […] Your concrete heart isn't beating, and I've tried to make it come alive.” |
| Upon the revelations of his vampire origin, Vesper doesn’t mind. They’re both turning into monsters, probably. Surviving and fighting the same bads. It changes nothing for her. | ||
| If he needs blood, so be it. She knows Nature is wild, nature has its needs, it just is what it is. | ||
| Lust for a Vampyr | I Monster | “When you meet anyone you can find. Sink your teeth, you're in love for one night.” |
| Astarion hunting for blood. | ||
| Fangs | Zayde Wolf | “It's a mad world. But you already knew that. Yeah I've been hurt. And you know I walked through that. Bring your big nerves. But stay wild if you do that.” |
| After Astarion opened up about Cazador and how he was treated. | ||
| Hunted | Egypt Central | “Hunted for what I am . They wanna own me and take control” |
| Most people only sees Astarion as a vampire, a vile beast. They want to control or hunt him down. | ||
| Nightmare | Set It Off | “They're coming, creeping from the corner. And all I know is that I don't feel safe. I feel the tapping on my shoulder. I turn around in an alarming state.” |
| Upon meeting a Gur chasing him, Astarion now knows he’s been chased. He fears someday they’ll find him and bring him back to Cazador. | ||
| The Mask And The Mirror | Poor Man’s Poison | “You might find me in the shadows. You might see me in the light. But you'll never know the demons that I fight. And this face I wear for you. Goddamn, I wear it well. And I'll see you on the other side of hell.” |
| After meeting the Gur who was sent after him, Astarion pretends he is fine again, Fake smiles drawing on his face as his fears come back to haunt him. | ||
| A Sadness Runs Through Him | The Hoosiers | “He drank, but finally drowned in his sorrow. Oh, he could not break surface tension. He looked in the wrong place for redemption. […]A Sadness Runs Through Him" |
| Vesper notices he’s hiding something, as his face smiles but his eyes only show sadness. | ||
| Providence | Poor Man’s Poison | “Men of power telling lies. Shifty hands and thirsty eyes. And they can smell your fear like blood.” |
| They’re slowly understanding how their tadpole works, if not why they’re not turning them. | ||
| Toward the Sun | Stay Radical | “Turn your face towards the sun, let the shadows fall behind you. Tell a pray, just carry on and the shadows will never find you. Lost in a rocky road. Got lost in the promise of a love I never know. Shadows chase me far from home. I remember when my heart was filled gold and you knew I been here, I been burned, I been burned. You see me lose control. This my world, this our world, this our world, my soul.” |
| Embracing the sun, as Astarion knows he’s still chased by Cazador. But impossible things keeps happening, and there’s a spark of hope. The sun that used to burn him, the blood that was deprived from him, the freedom he longed to claim. | ||
| Still Here | League of Legends, Forts, 2WEI, Tiffany Aris | “Gripping with my cold hands the shapes I used to take. Hollow like a straw man but it's easier to push away. Because it could all end here with a strange daylight caught in our eyes and my shadow stretching out. Through all the things I left behind, it's in my blood and it's in my veins. Got my heel crushing the snake, there is nothing you can take. I'm still here. |
| Maybe it's a far stretch that I won't come undone. But I would brave the cold edge to finish up what I've begun. Because it could all end here.” | ||
| Vesper fighting Kagha, who was her friend, her rival, her companion, before that treason. She reminds the Grove that’s she’s still here, now motivated to get rid of that parasite in her brain. | ||
| Vices & Vertues | Reinaeiry | It’s only been a couple of days since they first met and started adventuring together. While Vesper is chaotic, she remains good, too. A “Hero” as she wants to save her Grove, and Astarion takes this opportunity to tease her. |
| That Unwanted Animal | The Amazing Devil | The unwanted animal is their inner fears and anxiety building up inside them as they try to run away from it. |
| Like a Vampire | Catrien | “Although I’m beautiful like a perfect dream, inside my soul there is a murder scene. I’m a creature who’s up to no good. I’ve been fang-using, heart-bruising. It feels so good to love you like a vampire would I’ve been prey before, now I’m predator and I’m cold inside like a vampire. He was an animal with such a mad disease they said to stay away, but damn he wanted me and that was the day that my blood became infected and I learnt it was kill or be killed again.” |
| While I picture this song from Astarion’s POV, at the beginning of Act 1, it could also very much fit Vesper. | ||
| Teeth | 5 Seconds of Summer | “Fight so dirty, but you love so sweet. Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth." |
| Vesper sees more than what Astarion appears to be. | ||
| Are You Gonna Go My Way | Lenny Kravitz | “I was born long ago. […] But what I really want to know is : Are you gonna go my way?" |
| Astarion tells Vesper about himself, and only wants her help. | ||
| The Curse of the Fold | Shawn James | “The past was his torture, the future held his hope.” |
| Vesper telling a tale to Astarion. One that turns out to be inspired by her life and surrounding. | ||
| 4am | girl in red | “I'm thinking too much again, I can't sleep it's 4am […] How my life will end?, I have to live tomorrow, I don't wanna live tomorrow. […] Fuck my thoughts I think too much.” |
| Vesper has troubles to sleep, constantly thinking about her mother and brother’s safety, the Grove under attack, Halsin missing, the tadpole in her brain and the horrors she’s seen. | ||
| So much she even comes to wonder why she is alive. | ||
| The Curse | Agnes Corbel | “If I call on every soul in the land, on the moon. Tell me if I'll ever know a blessing in disguise. The curse ruled from the underground down by the shore and their hope grew with a hunger to live unlike before.” |
| Vesper wondering if that tadpole situation isn’t the best thing that happened in a while. She met people she get along, she’s done things she didn’t know she could do, she wants to live more than ever. | ||
| Human | Gabrielle Aplin | “Like a thief in the light, you can't hide from your shadow. It's the only thing you own and you don't need to pretend that perfection is your friend because we're all broken.We all end up alone. Show me that you're human, you won't break. Love your flaws and live for your mistakes. Beauty's on the surface wearing thin. Come closer show the marks upon your skin.” |
| Vesper wanting to know more sides of Astarion after he opened up to her. | ||
| Shine | Jeff Williams, Casey Lee Williams | “I was cold in the dark, it was empty in my life. From the outside, it looked so bright but nothing felt right to me. Like a sky with no sun like a night that has no day. My heart was eclipsed by the dark then something changed. I saw a little ray of light come through, the tiniest of sparks came into view, and then you made me hope again. I've been watching you, helping you. Wishing that you'd see that the girl you've been waiting so long for could be me. Now, I've never been in love, but I think this is it. It might be just a school girl crush but I have to admit. I wanna take a chance and make you see, I think that you're the one who'll rescue me this time. […] I think that tonight is when our stars align. Honey, it's time to leave the doubt behind. Take my hand 'cause you and I are gonna shine. I won't need any dreams, it's all there if you're by my side. Every moment's enough, and you take me to paradise. […] And I'm scared, but I'll open my heart up, I'm ready to dare. I know I've never felt like this before. I never really knew what love was for. I dreamed, but never did believe.” |
| Vesper’s falling in love with Astarion. | ||
| Is it love? | Color Out | “I never wanted anything but now I can’t get you off of my mind. I fell so hard this time. […] |
| Is it love or am I just chasing dreams? Is there more to you than what it seems? […] | ||
| It’s true that I have never been ready and able, but I'm alive for the first time in my life. […] | ||
| Is this love or is this falling for the first time in my life? Will I know when this feels right?” | ||
| Vesper falling for him when she thought she was simply “using him” the same way she did in the past, realising it could work. | ||
| Hearts A Mess | Gotye | “Pick apart the pieces of your heart and let me peer inside. Let me in where only your thoughts have been. Let me occupy your mind as you do mine. You have lost too much love to fear, doubt and distrust.” |
| Vesper fell for Riri’s first ( but he fell harder). | ||
| Smoke And Mirrors | Gotye | “You're a fraud, and you know it, but it's too good to throw it all away. Anyone would do the same. You've got 'em going and you're careful not to show it. Sometimes you even fool yourself a bit. It's like magic, but it's always been a smoke and mirrors game: anyone would do the same.” |
| Vesper knows he’s hiding something and play a game of false pretense. | ||
| Living a Lie | Varna | “Please tell me what happened to your life, you're not doing what you said. It kills you deep inside, everything you said you wanted. Have you made the time. Lost and found around, all you do is hide. Are you living a lie? You can fool everyone but you can't fool me. […] Put a smile on you facе so people don't know the truth, act likе everything is fine, they won't see the real you. If they only knew the demons that haunt your mind. […] I don't care what you think you can do, all I know is you have to. You gotta feel ot in your soul, you were made for so much more.” |
| Vesper doesn’t want to intrude and ask him to reveal his entire past, but she told him he can drop the act when she’s around. | ||
| Will I Ever Love | Anya Nami | “Every choice I made was wrong, and souls who loved me were left broken. Guess I'll pay for this 'til the end of days. I won and lost and calculated why who I liked I never datedand broke my head deriving formula. But will I ever love? Feel it inside my heart? All that I do is fake it all again, boring. Reckoning again, for it. How do I make this vicious cycle end? Convinced myself to like the beds I shared while crying, going numb and lying bare. I did it all for them and more with all my body getting sore. How could I be so brutal to myself?” |
| This song fits both Vesper and Astarion’s way to lie to themselves about sex. |
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